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Poetry

Milica Špadijer, Poetry

Tonight, we’ve solved the dilemma about the murder

Of an innocent child for the sake of saving humanity!
In the name of art, we have executed countless people and, finally,
Ourselves
And we lived and lunged at each other like dogs so that the lives of others
Would have more color
So let them enjoy your plays
And let them read my poems
And let them know
That they are sprinkled with blood and tears
Covered with sweat-stained sheets
Which I changed
So that someone could applaud us

Someone who saw neither your veins
Nor mine

Bra vo


12.44
20/44
91
92
92
93
94
95

1389
383
28.6.
88.361
77.474

212
011
2
163
42
32

753.
1453.
1918
20.11. 11.11.
1986. 1989.


Doctor

Tell me what it is you’re writing down
Good afternoon
Can I just have a peek
Inside your little black notebook
Good afternoon
No, that would be unethical
Doctor, I paid for it
Tell me
Do I blame my mother for everything while she pays for my treatment?
I’ve been feeling much better since I started using echinacea, thanks for asking!
Excuse me, elicea!
I can neither sleep nor fuck
But that’s ok, my boyfriend thinks I’ve been done enough fucking.
Doctor, let me see what you’re writing down
Did you give me an F?
In-cu-ra-ble
Two fingers test
Doctor
Is it that I have rage attacks
And refuse to have kids?
I know!
Doctor
You’re writing about how I’m deluding myself!
I blame my mother for my bad relationships
For which I blame my
Ex-boyfriends
For which I blame
The air raids!
I try to find an excuse
In my childhood.
I know!
You’re writing about how I’m idealizing
The narcissistic personality type
Neurotic
Promiscuous
Prone to using recreational drugs
Because she’s got
Rock ‘n’ roll in her moves!
Doctor,
Please
Tell me
What you’re writing down in your little black notebook.
I paid for it!
(with my mother’s money, true)
I’m such a materialist, right?
Or a penny-pincher?
But doctor, there’s just the two of us and I have no income
And I have no job!
I don’t even want to have a job!
All day long, I sit and read, and sometimes I write
I’m so lazy, right? Is that what you’re writing down?
I.clean.the.bathroom.
I put the dishes in the dishwasher
Not suicidal enough
Abruptly endearing
Autistically ambitious
Childishly religious
Do es not to le rate
Loooneliii ness!
I got it right, I know.
Doctor,
I beg you
Yes, next Wednesday at 11!
(tell me)
Thank you
(what’s written)
Goodbye
(in the little notebook).


this is my grave

i got buried in it by
competitions
festivals
plays
friend requests
dinners
cocktails
blue eyes
green eyes
smooth faces
bearded faces
short girls
tall girls
girls with big asses and short legs
good-looking middle-aged women
one morning in the park
two bottles of gin
poetry evenings
exam forms
thesis submission
leg fracture
the fifth hair bleaching
the fourth snake
the two-day fever
a few shows
a couple of doctors
and a comfy sofa.


you are closer to me than zagreb is

and zagreb is a magical word
and as if this weren’t reality
you live on the border

i’m closer to you than zagreb is
i’m in the sacred white city
and through the window, i often
gaze towards the border

there, it is always war
full of blood tears and sweat
just like when you’re giving birth
on the border, closer than zagreb

i’m closer to you than zagreb is
but it only matters to me.
just the same, i could
live right there in your street


Milica Špadijer (1989): born two days after the fall of the Berlin Wall, and she lives her life accordingly. She graduated from the Belgrade Grammar School of Philology and she got her bachelor’s and master’s degrees at the Classical Studies Department of the Faculty of Philosophy, and she is currently working on her doctoral dissertation at the Faculty of Dramatic Arts. She works as a journalist, translates from Greek, teaches Greek and Latin, and writes for several online news websites.


Translator Filip Čolović (1995) – born in Belgrade, he is currently finishing his undergraduate studies at the Faculty of Philology of the University of Belgrade (English Department). At the moment, he works as a content writer and translator. Appreciates the avant-garde and all forms of quality art and fiction.

LinkedIn Filip Čolović


This article was published in March of 2019, within the Awakening topic.

Read the other texts published in the Poetry section.

This article was originally published in Serbian and you can read it here. Translated into English by Filip Čolović.

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